The Night Of The White House Assassins
by Andamogirl
Summary: James West and Artemus Gordon encounter Dr. Miguelito Loveless again, who has built an extraordinary gender-swap machine.
1. Teaser

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

Author's notes: Season 2.

Episode-tag. This story takes place right after the end of "The night of the big blast".

Reference to the following episodes: "The night of the freebooters", "The night of the Murderous Spring", "The night of the big blast"

 _Baines: "West and Gordon: the unconquerable duo."_

TNOT Burning Diamond

 _Lily:_ _"_ _I love you dearly, but no. I, I, couldn't live your kind of life. You'd always be disappearing or exploding. I'd never know if I was kissing you or some bomb."  
_ _Artie_ _: "Well, try me!"  
_ _(Jim explosively opens a corked bottle)_ _  
_ _Lily_ _: "See what I mean."_

TNOT Big Blast

Warning: graphic violence; gender swap and some nudity.

Many thanks to my beta reader Tripidydoodah.

WWW

 **TEASER**

 _The Wanderer, New Orleans railroad yard_

 _In the morning_

 **Jim's nightmare:**

Sitting at the writing table, sipping his coffee James West was reading his partner's report of their last mission when someone knocked at the door.

He stood, pivoted and opened it – revealing Ulysses S. Grant. He smiled broadly. "Mr. President! This is a surprise. Please do come on in, Sir."

The President entered the parlor car and the two men shook hands. "I wanted to congratulate you personally for having saved my life – and the lives of others once again – stopping that human-bomb, just in time."

Jim gestured toward the table covered with plates where different pastries were piled up. "Thank you, Sir. Can I offer you a cup of coffee and… some pastries?"

Grant stood at the table, eying hungrily a couple of strawberry tarts. "Yes, thank you. Did you invite people for breakfast Jim? Some lovely ladies perhaps?"

Holding the pot of fresh coffee Jim poured a cup and offered it to Grant. "No Sir, unfortunately. When Artie doesn't feel good, he spends hours in the galley cooking – he usually makes pastries, but he can make some jam too. It relaxes him."

President Grant took his place on a chair and frowned in alarm. "What? Was he injured in the explosion? I wasn't informed."

Jim sat down on a chair in his turn. "He wasn't injured, Sir, but he doesn't feel good, and he feels blue. You see he asked a lovely woman, Miss Lily Fortune, who's an actress he knew when he was a teenager – she was his girlfriend – and with whom he recently fell in love with again, to marry him last night, and she said no. She first broke his heart when she had to leave him when they were teenagers and she did it again last night. Since then, he's been in the galley cooking. He didn't even go to bed." He took a cream puff topped with a chocolate icing and a cherry. "He's going to be alright, Sir, eventually. It's not the first time that a woman broke his heart - but it's the first time he asked a woman to marry him and received a _no_ for an answer… He'll recover, it will take some time. You know how sensitive and emotional he is."

Ulysses S. Grant nodded, stood and then headed toward the galley. Jim stayed where he was, eating his pastry. He knew that Grant – Artemus Gordon's surrogate father – would do everything to cheer his partner up. This was a private conversation which he was not invited to attend.

WWW

Grant discovered his other agent sitting on a stool beside a small table, peeling apples. He looked old and miserable – and exhausted. "Artemus?"

Gordon looked up and opened his eyes wide with surprise. "Mr. President?" He stood up and dropped knife and apple on the table. "Sir!" he said, standing at attention.

Grant pointed at the stool. "Sit down before you collapse to the floor, son." Artemus complied. "Jim told me what happened last night, and I'm sorry."

Lowering his eyes on the apples again Artemus nodded and sat. "Thank you, Sir. Well… one says that love makes a person blind, that's true. I should have known better than to think that any woman would love to live my kind of life, even indirectly...not knowing where I am, what I do, if I am injured or dead, with news from me only occasionally, seeing each other between assignments… It's better that way." He re-started peeling his abandoned apple. "I'll be fine, Sir, don't worry. It's just a bad moment. It will pass." He looked up at the other man with curiosity. "What brings you here, Sir?"

The President smiled. "I wanted to thank Jim and you for having saved my life and the lives of the members of the Government."

Smiling Artemus nodded. "Thank you, Sir. But unfortunately we weren't able to arrest Dr. Faustina and her accomplices." He stood and joined Grant. "Did Jim offer you some pastries, Sir? I know that you love strawberry tarts."

"That's a secret between you and me, Artemus," he said, before grinning playfully. "Yes he did, and I'm not going to resist that offer."

They entered the parlor car a couple of seconds later – just as someone was knocking at the door. It opened shortly after.

Lyle Peters took one step inside.

Grant smiled. "Mr. Peters! It's good to see you again, please come in, and join us." Then he gestured to an empty chair. "Artemus made * some * pastries, enough for a regiment."

Peters took another step forward, moving rigidly like an automaton – his face expressionless, his eyes dead. Jim and Artie exchanged a glance recognizing the 'symptoms' of one of Dr. Faustina's human-bombs. Then Artemus said, "Jim! Take the President to a safe place!" before leaping on the faux-Peters, pushing him outside, on the rear platform of the train.

The faux-Peters hit Artemus with a series of bone-crushing punches, effectively breaking two ribs of his opponent, but Artie, gritting his teeth, resisted the assault – knowing that he had to stop the faux-agent at all costs.

Artemus grabbed the other man by the collar of his jacket and, gathering his strength, propelled him down to the station's platform where he crashed.

The four agents present there for the President's protection immediately took their guns and pointed them at the two men.

The faux-Peters sent Gordon a right hook then, watching him collapsing to the ground like a dead weight; he pulled out a gun from his back and fired at Artemus. Two times. "He wanted to kill the President! He was an impostor!" he said in a dull tone to the agents who looked at each other, puzzled, as they didn't know what to do, in order to gain some time - before emptying his revolver on them.

He was climbing the steps leading to the rear platform of the Wanderer when Jim appeared on it and immediately fired.

The faux-Peters crumpled to the ground – dead, a bullet between his eyes.

Immediately after, Jim jumped on the station's platform, grabbed the body by his arm and hurried to move him to the end of the station platform, as far as possible from the train. Then he rushed in the opposite direction where his partner was lying – in a pool of his own blood, sprawled dead on the ground, with two bleeding holes in his heart.

The faux-Peters exploded.

Burning tears rolling down his ashen face, Jim barely registered it – as he sank to his knees beside the prone form of Artemus Gordon. "Artie, no…" With a trembling hand he closed Artie's gentle chocolate eyes, opened but not seeing anything anymore – lifeless. Then he buried his face in Artie's now immobile chest, drenched in blood, and let out loud chocking sobs.

He had lost his brother.

WWW

 _The Wanderer, New Orleans railroad yard_

 _Morning_

 **Reality:**

Moaning Jim abruptly woke up and jerked upward on his bed, fresh tears on his cheeks and he looked around him: he recognized his sleeping compartment and sat up. "What an awful dream," he whispered.

He left his bunk, lifted the blind – letting the morning golden light illuminate the small room and then he headed toward the door.

He desperately needed a coffee, a big, strong coffee, he mused.

He entered the galley shortly after and found Artie there, preparing breakfast and coffee like he did each morning. He too was barefoot and wearing his pajamas. He spotted Marmalade rolled in a ball in a basket settled next to the stove, watching her master's movements. "Good morning Artie," he said reaching for the pot of fresh coffee sitting on the stove.

Stirring the ingredients for French _crêpes_ in a large bowl, Artemus said, "Good morning Jim. You look like hell buddy. Bad dream?"

Jim nodded, noticing piles of French pastries on a plate. "I feel like hell. I had a nightmare. You were killed by a faux-Lyle Peters created by Dr. Faustina." He took a cup and poured himself a coffee. "He shot you on the station's platform. You were lying in a pool of your own blood with… with two bullets in your heart, I… I had to close your dead eyes. That was awful." He shivered. "I'm still pretty shaken."

Smiling Artemus poured the dough in a pan. "It's just a bad dream. Dr. Faustina is gone, her accomplices with her and Peters is gone with Mrs. Fortune – that poor man." He noticed that Jim was still haunted by his nightmare: he was pale and his eyes filled with pain. "I'm fine Jim, you didn't kill me…" He chuckled. "Well you did kill me once, but it was a hallucination."

Feeling suddenly drained, the younger man sat on a stool, took a sip of coffee and said, his face grave, "Promise me that you will never die, Artie."

Marmie left her basket and padded toward Jim. She walked across his bare foot, rubbing against his leg, demanding. Then she pawed at the human's pajama leg, claws needle-sharp and let out a meowing. Jim complied: he reached down and scooped the cat up by its middle, placing it on his lap, where the feline wanted to be. Marmalade stared up at Jim with a satisfied look on its face and settled down, snuggled against Jim, purring loudly in contentment and in victory.

Artemus shook his head as he made his first _crêpe_. "I can't make that promise Jim, everyone dies, that's life. But I can promise you I will always be prudent – and perhaps I'll die of old age in my bed."

Jim grinned and said, "Says the man who recklessly puts his life in danger to save his partner when said partner's life is in total jeopardy."

Artie chuckled softly. "I said _perhaps_."

Jim watched the pastries again and added, "I'm sorry about last night, you know, me opening the Champagne at a bad moment…"

The older agent shook his head, placing a third _crêp_ e on top of the others. "It's not your fault; you did it at the wrong time, that's all. Besides she had already said no. We decided to stay best friends – and friends are important."

Jim patted his partner with brotherly affection. "You're right. Artie… I know you're hurting – hence the ton of pastries you made… tell me how I can help you."

Sliding a fifth _crêpe_ from the pan on top of the other _crêpes_ Artie shook his head. "Help me to eat all this… Don't worry, Jim, it will pass. What I need now is a new assignment to focus my mind on something else." Seeing Jim's concerned frown, he added, "I'm going to be okay – believe me. It's just a matter of time. Now James-my-boy, could you lay the table please, breakfast is almost ready."

Smiling, feeling reassured, Jim took the cat in his arms. "Good! I'm hungry." He perched it on Artemus's shoulder and left the galley for the parlor car.

Tbc.


	2. Act One

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

WWW

 **ACT ONE**

 _Later_

Spreading a thick layer of strawberry jam on his third _crêpe_ Jim glanced at his partner sitting in front of him at the table, hidden behind the pages of the New Orleans Herald. "Something interesting in the newspaper, Artie?" he asked.

Lowering the newspaper Artemus shook his head. "No, nothing interesting, except one article on the success of Mardi Gras… during which there have been some incidents, like a…. ahem… a real swordfight. According to many witnesses it was between a _dashing_ pirate and three very unkind Musketeers. The pirate won the swordfight, of course."

Jim smirked. 'Dashing? You?"

Artemus looked behind Jim seeing a silhouette appear through the ornamented glass panel of the door. "Ah! I think that we are going to have a visitor – and we're both still wearing our pajamas."

There was a knock at the door and it opened – revealing Ulysses S. Grant, smiling. "Good morning gentlemen, may I come in?"

The two men stood. "Of course Sir, good morning Sir." They said in a chorus.

Grant's smile broadened when he noticed that his two agents were still wearing their pajamas, a dark grey pair for Jim and navy blue for Artemus, and were barefoot, unshaven and wild-haired.

Blushing with embarrassment Artemus sheepishly said, "We apologize for our lack of proper clothes Sir… We didn't expect anyone."

The president shook his head, pretending disappointment. "And I thought you were always ready to confront any danger, tsk! Tsk!"

The President took his place at the table as Jim took another cup from the nearby sideboard. "What brings you here Mr. President?" West asked.

Ulysses S. Grant accepted the cup of coffee and pointed at the pile of all the pastries. "Do you eat all that each morning? Because just tell me how you manage not to gain weight."

Jim chuckled. "Our breakfast is not that copious, in general, Sir. Artemus usually makes a simple breakfast for two and not a mountain of pastries, enough for a regiment, Sir. But when he's not feeling good, he makes pastries to help him relax."

Artemus instantly glared at Jim, mouthing "Why did you tell that to him? Now is going to be very worried about me."

Grant frowned and said, "I can read lips, Artemus. Jim told me that because he's very worried about you, and I am too now. What happened?"

The older agent sighed. "I recently met a woman, Sir, Lily Fortune; she was my first girlfriend when I was 16. We were in love with each other and we stayed together till I graduated from secondary school at 17. She was my prom date. Then, she left with her parents to go West – and my heart broke. I fell in love with her again. I asked her to marry me last night, after her _magnifique_ performance on the stage – she's an actress and played her first grand role last night in the play _Synthia_." He sighed. "She said no – and broke my heart at the same time, a second time. I thought she loved me… as much as I loved her, but she only _loves me dearly_ … and she said that she couldn't live the kind of life I live… So we decided to stay best friends, Sir."

Ulysses S. Grant nodded and took a sip of coffee. "I see… I'm not an expert in love affairs. I had only one big love in my life: Julia. When I met Julia, I knew that it was _her_. No one has ever said "no" to me, nor broke my heart, but I do understand your feelings right now… and why you're hurting – and making pastries." Eying a strawberry tart, he took it. "If one day you decide a change of profession Artemus, I'd be delighted to have you as my new pastry Chef at the White House. All of this looks absolutely decadent and delicious."

Pleased Artemus smiled. "Thank you Sir, but I love my job far too much to quit it. Besides I can't leave Jim, he's my partner – till we both decide to retire – or I get killed on a mission."

Grant nodded and took a bite. Then he devoured the strawberry tart and licked his fingers, regardless of good manners. "Speaking of jobs, you did a remarkable one last night. You saved the lives of important members of the Government and my own life too. I came here to thank you personally before leaving for Washington, and I want to tell you that I have decided to give you both a commendation for that."

The two special agents exchanged a large smile, both very happy. "Thank you very much, Sir," they both said at the same time.

The President added, "And I came here too, to give you another assignment." He took a swallow of coffee and continued, "Very important people have recently vanished, Denis Forsythe the Governor of Mississippi, Senator Richard Long from New York and Professor Henry Miller, a famous anthropologist from the Washington University. They were at the same vacation spot last week: Yellow Springs, Colorado, a small city where Spas are famous, they say, when they disappeared without a trace. They have probably been kidnapped, but there has been no contact with the families since then, and no ransom asked for and the local authorities didn't find anything. It's a very mysterious sort of kidnapping… I want you to find them, gentlemen."

The two men nodded.

"Yes Sir, we'll find them," Jim said.

Grant glanced at Artemus who looked thoughtful. "Something in your mind about the mission, Artemus?" He asked, curious.

The older secret agent nodded. "Yes Sir, I was wondering if the people who kidnapped those men would be interested in a brigadier-general – an important man. I met Brigadier-General Rydell in Washington two months ago, twice, at two different receptions, and we talked – about the war principally. I can imitate his appearance and voice without a problem, Sir."

The President nodded. "That's a good idea. Brigadier-General Rydell is still in Washington, and I'm going to order him to stay at home and not to show himself – to facilitate your mission. I guess that _Major_ West will accompany you, Brigadier-General, as your aide-de-camp."

Smiling Artie placed his hand on Jim's shoulder with affection, "And best friend, yes. I'm sure that I'm going to be an irresistible bait in my dress uniform with saber at my side…"

The President smiled and stood. "I have to leave now; I'm heading back to Washington. Good luck gentlemen and be prudent. Find those men and keep me posted." He shook hands with Jim and Artie, gave a goodbye nod and left the parlor car.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee Artemus said, "I always wanted to be a General, the prestige of the uniform you know… and women are attracted by high-ranking officers, like generals. The last time I could have been one, you demoted me to a Colonel, but not this time."

Jim smiled. "I remember. You were impersonating a fabulous Mexican Colonel – I forgot his name – and then you played another role, a Mexican woman, a cantina woman to be precise, and I won't forget it, ever. You were great, _Artemis_."

They both burst out laughing.

WWW

 _Three days later, Yellow Springs_

One star Brigadier-General Calvin Rydell (Artemus Gordon) dismounted his gelding (a US cavalry horse borrowed from the local US Army Fort) in front of the Grand Hotel of Yellow Springs followed by Major James West, his aide-de-camp and best friend.

Immediately a groom dressed in a red uniform took their bags and saddle-bags.

Impeccable in his brand new dress uniform, his sword at his side, the General entered the hotel and headed towards reception, Major West at his side.

The receptionist – an old black man smiled broadly. "General Rydell? We were expecting you, Sir. Welcome to the Grand Hotel. My name is Frank Glenn, I'm the head receptionist. Did you have a nice trip?"

The high ranking officer nodded. "Yes, but I'm glad to be here. I need some rest. I hope that your rooms are comfortable."

Frank Glenn nodded. "Yes, General, they are. All our rooms have an en suite private bathroom with hot water coming directly from the spring located in the mountains. The mattresses are new as is the furniture. Towels and bathrobes are provided and there's room service too. It's a luxury hotel, General. Mineral water is at your disposal in the lobby and there's a massage room, with steam bath. There's a _fumoir_ too, with fresh newspapers coming from the whole region, at your disposal."

The faux Calvin Rydell nodded, running a finger along his salt-and-pepper moustache. "Good, good. I certainly hope so, that's why my aide-de-camp Major West chose it."

The head receptionist smiled. "Welcome to the Grand Hotel, Major West. You have room 12 the room just next door to the General's." He gestured to the groom holding the bags and saddle-bags. "Lead these gentlemen to their rooms, Alvin, room 11 and 12." The young man nodded and started to climb the stairs leading to the first storey. "I wish you an agreeable stay here, General, Major. If you need anything, there will always be someone at reception, day and night. Good day, Sirs."

The phony Brigadier-General Rydell nodded. "Good, good. I'd like to have a massage in 30 minutes; it will do my back good after that long trip from Denver."

Glenn nodded. "I'm going to ask the massage room attendant to prepare a private room for you, General. Our masseur is one of the best in the country."

The superior officer nodded. "Good, good." Then, his hand resting on his sword, he headed to the stairs, followed by Major West.

WWW

 _Later_

Once in his room Artemus Gordon stripped off his clothes – save his tight-fitting, short black underwear and put the hotel bathrobe on.

There was a knock at the door and Jim West entered. He closed the door behind him. "Out of your beautiful uniform already Artie? I thought you liked being a general?"

Artie nodded. "But I'm an old battered general, and I need something to relax me: so, I'm heading for the massage room."

Jim nodded. "We're not here for pleasure, Artemus. We have a mission."

Artemus smiled. "James-my-boy, don't be a spoil-sport. Of course I know that we have a mission. It's all I can think about... But I think that the massage room is a perfect place for a kidnapping – especially during a steam bath," he said. "With all that steam you can barely see other people. Let's see if they're going to take the bait. Stay put, ready to intervene, Jim."

The Major saluted. "Yes, General, Sir." His smile vanished replaced by a frown of concern. "Promise me to be prudent, Artie. We don't know what's happening here."

Artie smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Jim, I will. It's not the first time I let myself be kidnapped to find the bad guys."

Still frowning, Jim nodded. "I know. I'll be close, keeping an eye on you."

WWW

 _Later_

Daniel Ridge the masseur, a tall and broad man poured scented oil on the General's back and started to spread it on the wide expanse of skin with long strokes. "Interesting scars you have on your back, Sir," he said. "It looks like you have been shot, stabbed and even… whipped!"

Lying on the massage table Rydell nodded. "I know. Let's say that the war has left some traces on me," he said, burying his head deeper in the pillow.

Ridge nodded. "I have scars myself from the war too, General. I was injured at the siege of Vicksburg. I was fighting in the army of Tennessee. And you have a beautiful tattoo representing an eagle, his wings spread open, it looks like it's Indian made."

Artie gave a mini nod. "Because it is. Long story."

Ridge didn't insist.

The faux-general closed his eyes with pleasure as the other man began a vigorous massage, alternating long strokes, petrissage (kneading) and tapotement (rhythmic tapping) then short strokes. Gentle warmth invaded his whole body as the herbal oil penetrated his pores. "That's perfect, just perfect, don't ever stop," he said, moaning in bliss.

The other man chuckled. "It's not my intention, Sir. The _séance_ has just started and I'm going to take care of you for one complete hour."

The massage was so good that Artemus had to fight hard to stay alert – because he was convinced that something would happen: his kidnapping.

Ridge stopped his massage after 20 minutes and said, "I'm going to put the steam on for 10 minutes, General. Lie still while the oil soaks in. Then you'll feel brand new."

Ridge left the room which started to fill with steam escaping from openings in the walls. Artie sat on the massage table, looking around him waiting…

Five minutes later he smiled when the steam was suddenly replaced by a thick yellow smoke. "Knock- out gas," he said. "Good trap."

He lay down on the table again, "sleep well Artie, old boy,' he thought, and he lost consciousness a few seconds later.

There was a noise and the platform, on which the massage table sat, began to move downward, sliding on cables… to reach a sub-level 30 seconds later. Two men grabbed the unconscious Artemus Gordon and placed him on a rolling operating table and secured him with straps. Then another man lowered a lever and the massage table moved upward to regain its original position.

WWW

 _In the main street, later_

Hidden behind a window of the saloon located in front of the Grand Hotel, Jim saw two armed, bulky men looking like henchmen (he had developed a talent for spotting them immediately) leave the rear part of the hotel, carrying a big, heavy trunk. Big enough to contain a man, he mused. They placed it on a buckboard and then they jumped on the front part. The taller goon took the reins and the smaller one grabbed the rifle sitting at his feet. "Artie's on its way to meet Mr. Big." Jim whispered to himself.

Once in the main street he waited for the buckboard to leave the city limits and, mounting his stallion, he followed it at a safe distance, undetected.

WWW

 _Later, in Dr. Loveless' hideout, much later_

Dr. Miguelito Quixote Loveless entered the red room where Dr. Faustina (a recent addition to his team of geniuses) was building a machine destined to resurrect dead people.

He could resurrect anyone with that machine – and people would pay _a fortune_ to have a parent, or a friend come back to life, he reflected with jubilation. It meant too, that he could bring people back to life as many times as they would like – he would offer them eternity. Himself included, he added in his mind.

Dr. Faustina's associate Miklos had previously strapped Senator Long – drugged and barely conscious – to an operating table. He would kill the man once the machine was ready.

Loveless headed then toward the green room. Dr. Arcularis (who had escaped from prison with his help three weeks ago) was creating a machine capable of hypnotizing a small crowd in a matter of seconds. It was a fascinating machine, he thought. With it he could hypnotize lots of people almost instantaneously. He could rob anything with that machine, banks, jewellers, and museums… even the Federal Gold Reserve. He beamed with glee. He noticed that Governor Forsythe was sitting in front of the nearly finished machine, tied to a chair. He too was drugged and barely conscious, so the doctor could work peacefully.

Loveless moved toward the next room, the yellow one filled with a well-equipped lab. Dr. McAllister was creating a drug capable of de-evolving people, transforming civilized men into cavemen. An army of cavemen, hypnotized to obey him (thanks to Dr. Arcularis machine), and immortal (thanks to Dr. Faustina's machine) would be perfect to conquer the United States, his future empire, he thought.

Ironically his guinea pig was a famous anthropologist, Prof. Miller. He chuckled.

Still chuckling, he entered the White room, the last room, of the vast underground laboratory, and moved toward the latest _guest_ , strapped on a rolling operating table: Brigadier-General Calvin Rydell, dressed only in his underwear and knocked out.

He stepped on a footboard to level his guinea pig and observed the other man, fascinated by all the scars he had on his back. "A true soldier, fighting alongside his men, not someone fighting behind a desk. Once a female, and hypnotized, he- I mean she will be able to approach President Grant – who won't suspect a woman of being an assassin – and she will kill him. With his soldier training, he won't miss Grant's heart, and then he'll kill himself, she will kill herself." He examined the tattoo and smiled. "A souvenir from a lovely Indian woman, I suppose." He rubbed his hand in glee. "That's a wonderful plan." He stepped down and headed towards his own machine, a gender-change machine.

With it, he will be able to transform killers into lovely ladies (a physical transformation only – because the new woman would keep her male mind intact, to assassinate all the powerful personalities of the world, kings, emperors… he mused. "And I will conquer those countries with my army of immortal cavemen… and I will rule the world!"

He looked at his machine, immensely proud of himself. "That's a thing of beauty!" he said. Then he snapped his fingers and the two bulky henchmen standing next to the door took a step forward. "Put the general in the gender-swap box. I want to test my wonderful machine now."

Suddenly the door opened and two mountain-built men entered, holding and framing a badly bruised and barely walking James West, wearing a US Army Major dress uniform.

Loveless ordered. "Halt!"

The two henchmen immediately froze.

The diminutive man beamed. "Mr. West, what a delightful surprise! How pleasant to see you again. I missed you." He noticed the US Cavalry uniform West was wearing and then looked at the Brigadier-General's prone form, the other man being still unconscious. "Let me guess, President Grant sent you here at Yellow Springs to find Forsythe, Miller and Long. I should have thought about it earlier – but I was rather busy planning many things. And as you never go on a mission without your brotherly partner… I suppose that the Brigadier-General here is not Calvin Rydell but Artemus Gordon." He pulled off one faux-sideburn then the phony moustache. "The man of a thousand faces – of course. That's why you're here, Mr. West, to save him. But you won't, and your plan has failed miserably."

Jim nodded and said, "Obviously. It was Artemus's idea to get kidnapped, brought to the person behind the kidnappings and see what he could do to stop that person – waiting for me to arrive to help him. But, unfortunately that's not what happened. He's still passed out and I was captured."

Loveless nodded and beamed. "And you're both my prisoners now." He looked again at Artemus Gordon still blacked out. "But what I had planned for General Rydell, Gordon will do too. Nothing changes." He opened his arms wide, looking at his machine, so big it was occupying a whole wall. "Look at this! This machine is a _pure merveille_ , it took me a lot of time and a lot of money – and some indispensable help from several top scientists in their domains to conceive it," he said. "Do you want to know what it does?"

Looking falsely bored Jim said, "No but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

Loveless snapped his fingers again. "Put Mr. Gordon in the box," he ordered to his two bulky henchmen. "No, I'm not going to tell you, you'll see it for yourself, Mr. West." He chuckled. "I don't want to spoil the surprise, a big surprise!"

The two men removed the straps immobilizing the secret agent and then carried him to a long and large box, the size of a coffin; covered with colored buttons and small levers. It was linked to the big machine covering the wall behind it with electrical cables and wires.

Loveless pressed on a button and the lid slid to forward. Artemus was lowered inside and the doctor closed the lid on him. Then he busied himself activating the big machine and pressed several buttons on the box, before lowering the levers.

Electricity suddenly surged from the machine, ran in the cables and wires – and ended in the box. Jim jumped and blanched when he heard a muffled scream of pain – which lasted for at least 30 seconds – an eternity - before dying progressively, mutating into sobs. "Artie," he breathed horrified.

Rubbing his hands in glee, Loveless said, "I never tested it before… But I'm sure it works perfectly. Let's see what has happened to Mr. Gordon…"

Loveless opened the lid and leaned forward. "It worked! He said hopping up and down in his excitement and then he froze and gasped. Blushing up to his ears he pushed his henchmen backward. "Don't look! Give me your shirt, Fawley." The other man complied, puzzled, then Miguelito gave it to Artemus, looking elsewhere. "Put that on you Mr. Gordon…" he said to him.

It took an eternity for Artie to put the shirt on, lying on the bottom of the box. Then, he-or rather she lifted a hand and asked, "Help me please," with a female voice.

Blinking, totally stunned, Jim felt his jaw drop as he watched Loveless's henchmen lift a pretty good-looking brunette (he noticed) from the box, sitting her on the edge of the device.

James West opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. His mind completely blank with utter stupefaction.

She-Artemus Gordon, distraught, his face ashen and wet with tears, gripped the edge of the box, his knuckles white, shaking. He groaned as a wave of nausea swept over him. He instantly vomited at his feet. Then he looked at Jim and breathed, "That's not possible…" And was momentarily startled to hear his new voice.

Loveless chuckled. "On the contrary, it's very possible, _Mademoiselle_ Gordon. Thanks to my gender-swap machine, you are now a woman, physically, as for your brain, I honestly don't know. But it was probably affected too by the transformation. Congratulations, you're a woman!"

She-Artie slid to the floor limply, next to the pool of vomit and stayed there, leaning against the box, sitting with his knees drawn up and arms crossed, new tears of distress rolling on his cheeks. "I'm a woman… that can't be real… no, this is unbelievable," he whispered.

Loveless nodded. "But true!"

She-Artemus glanced at Jim. "Help me Jim!"

Loveless looked at the two goons holding West, still gaping. "Release him. He's not going to go anywhere but close to his-her partner to comfort him, I mean her."

Immediately Jim rushed towards his partner and placed a hesitating hand on his shoulder – not broad anymore, but slender and very feminine. "Artie… I don't know what to say…" he said, very disturbed.

She-Artemus buried her face in Jim's neck and started to sob. Jim pulled the new woman in his arms, awkwardly, and ran soothing circles on her back.

Jim suddenly felt his best friend sag against him. She-he had lost consciousness. He stood up, lifting the new female Artemus Gordon's limp body in his arms and he glared at Loveless. "I suppose that you have a dungeon-like cell, somewhere? Show me the way."

Tbc.


	3. Act Two

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

WWW

 **ACT TWO**

 _Later, in the cell_

Sitting on the edge of the only bunk of the tiny room, Jim had been watching his passed out partner for a long moment – in a daze, seeing again what happened to Artie over and over in his head, when she-Artemus moaned and finally opened his eyes. "Hi!" he said, with a sympathetic smile.

She-Artemus immediately placed his hand in the middle of his chest and gasped – encountering breasts beneath his fingers and lifted it in a flash as if he had burnt himself. "It wasn't a very bad dream."

Shaking his head Jim said, "No, I'm afraid it wasn't. Loveless used a gender-change machine and changed you into a woman, Artie. It must be very disturbing and very awkward. How do you feel?"

She-Artie glared at Jim. "How do I feel? I have a female body but I'm not a woman. How do you think I feel?" he said bitterly with a female voice that sounded weird to his ears. He ran trembling fingers on her face, noticing a few changes: the lines of his face were a little rounder, his lips were fuller and the bones of his face were more delicate. He softened and took a deep, even breath, hoping to calm down. "I'm sorry; I didn't want to be disagreeable with you. I'm still shocked and pretty shaken, and that's an understatement." He ran a hand through his hair. "Tell me, how do I look, Jim?"

Jim smiled. "Well… You look like your twin sister, if you had one – with short hair." He helped his partner to sit on the bunk and took his hand. Artie's new hands were smaller, with long and delicate fingers; he noticed but still callused in all the same places from holding a gun. "We're going to find a way to force Loveless to change you back, Artie. You're not going to stay that way."

She-Artie nodded. "I hope so. I want my body back, Jim. When I play a woman for a mission, it's a role, just a role, it doesn't last, and I'm still me after that, a man, but this…" He looked down. He had hips now, curves where there hadn't been any before. The hair on his arms and legs was soft and pale, hardly visible. "But this, this is real, I'm a woman now, a real one… and I'm really scared… "He started sweating and trembling. "I'm not me anymore…. I'm sorry, Jim, but I'm going to be very emotional? I'm going to panic… Oh boy!" Then new tears appeared, rolling down his pale cheeks.

Pulling She-Artie in his arms, Jim said, "You're still you, Artie, you're still Artemus Gordon - just in a female body, and you're going to be fine buddy."

Suddenly She-Artemus moved backward. "Fine? Fine?" he repeated his voice now a pleasant alto. "I am a man trapped in woman's body! I'm _not_ going to be fine, Jim – not by a long shot."

Grabbing the other man-woman by his-her shoulders Jim said, "Yes you are. Pull yourself together Artemus! I need your help to get out of here. I can't do this alone. Once out, we'll find a way to force Loveless to use his machine to transform you into a man. Okay?" He squeezed his surrogate brother's delicate shoulders. "Okay?" he repeated.

His lower lip trembling with intense emotion, She-Artie nodded. "Yes-yes-Okay." He stood and clutched at Jim's shoulder as his knees threatened to buckle under him. "Okay… We have to get out of here… and I know how." He headed toward the door feeling his breasts moving in time with his movements – finding it very disturbing - and pressed his arm on his chest to immobilize them. "This is the most disturbing thing I ever experienced…" he added.

Moving toward the door too, Jim smiled and said, "You're a beautiful woman, Artie. If you weren't my partner and brother…well my sister now, I could date you." He chuckled softly.

She-Artie gave Jim a black look. "I'm not in the mood for humor, excuse-me."

Jim looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Artie. I just wanted to help you relax a little, forgive me…"

Female-Artemus nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry too. Forgive me." He glanced through the barred opening. He spotted a guard in the corridor, sat on a chair, reading the newspaper. "Okay, okay. I'm a woman, so I'm going use my _new charms_ and my talent as an actor, to attract the guard here. Then you will neutralize him and take his gun." He unbuttoned the top of the shirt she was wearing – not looking at his cleavage - not too much, but just enough to reveal the top of his new attributes. He took a deep breath and said, "Guard! Please, I need your help! Please!"

Once the guard was on the other side of the door, She-Artie pivoted and slapped Jim's face, hard. "Please help me! He wants to force me to kiss him…"

Reacting immediately, Jim grabbed his partner by his arm and tried to kiss him. But She-Artie pushed him backward. "No! Stay where you are. Help me! Help me!"

The door opened and the guard entered the tiny room, revolver in hand. "Let that woman alone, you pervert!' he said, disgusted.

She-Artie threw himself in the bulky man's arms, holding him tight… "Thank you!" he said, just before Jim grabbed the gun from the distracted guard.

She-Artemus shot a powerful uppercut to the goon and cried out in pain as the man collapsed to the ground, shaking his hand. "Ow! Ow! That hurts! I think I broke my hand."

Jim chuckled. "Nice punch for a woman. He's knocked out." He took She-Artie's painful hand in his and gently, delicately, massaged it, a smile on his lips, "No, it's not broken."

Perplexed She-Artie frowned and his eyes narrowed. "Jim, what are you doing?"

Still smiling, still massaging the delicate hand Jim said, "Massaging your hand, Artie. Women's hands are delicate and fragile…"

She-Artemus looked down at his less painful hand now that Jim still massaged. "Thank you Jim," he said pulling his hand back. "But remember that _I'm not a woman_. My body is temporarily female but I'm still me in my head. Me, your _very male_ buddy."

Embarrassed Jim blushed. "I forgot that for a brief moment… I'm sorry."

She-Artie chuckled. "It's alright, don't worry. I have a female body and you're James West. The two go together. Come on, let's move out of here. We have to find Loveless."

Reassured Jim beamed. "You're definitively back!"

WWW

 _Later_

She-Artie and Jim took a long S-shaped corridor and five minutes later arrived in front of a big door. They slowly opened it and Jim, gun in hand, moved forward. They entered a big dining room… interrupting the people seated around the table, drinking red wine.

Loveless smiled. "Ah! Finally. I was waiting for you. Please do come in!"

The two agents immediately moved backward – to be stopped by a caveman that had moved behind them silently. The Neanderthal grabbed the two prisoners by an arm each and sent them flying in the air. They both crashed against the closest wall and dropped to the floor like stones where they bashed their heads against it hard enough to see stars in front of their eyes.

Raising his hand toward the caveman, who was growling like a wild beast, Jim moved protectively closer to She-Artemus lying beside him. "Stay back!" he ordered.

Dr. McAllister intervened. "Miller! Stop!" he ordered. "Move back and stay next to the door."

De-evolved Henry Miller obeyed.

Immediately Loveless's three henchmen moved toward the two agents, one of them picked up the gun Jim had dropped on the floor and the two others grabbed Jim's and she-Artie's arms to haul them to their feet. The room still spinning female- Artemus swayed on his unstable legs. He suddenly felt a strong arm supporting him and turned to smile at Jim standing at his side. "Thank you Jim," he said.

Jim smiled in return. "You're welcome buddy."

Then the three goons escorted James West and female-Artemus Gordon to the two empty chairs at the end of the big table.

Miguelito's smile broadened. "I knew that you would escape from your cell, and as the corridor was leading here, I was waiting for you, _Mademoiselle_ Gordon and Mr. West."

She-Artie glared at the diminutive man. "I have a female body, yes, but I'm still me in my head, Loveless. Call me, Mister, not _Mademoiselle_."

Loveless chuckled. "Tell me _Mademoiselle_ Gordon, no side effects?"

She-Artemus groaned, eyes darkening with anger. "Yes, one, I have that irresistible urge to kill you with my bare hands!"

Loveless chuckled again. "Nothing new there then. No side effects then, you're perfectly healthy, good." He glanced at his guests. "You do know Dr. Faustina and her aide, Miklos. He has just killed Senator Long, and they are waiting for a thunderstorm to resuscitate the poor man. But a thunderstorm is announced in the next 12 hours. Of course, it's a first step. I will help her to build a machine capableof generating enough powerful electrical energy to re-create lightning bolts. So, she won't depend on bad weather to resuscitate people."

Dr. Faustina smiled. "It's remarkable, Dr. Loveless, Mr. Gordon body is just perfect. Your machine works perfectly."

Loveless nodded. "Of course, it does, my dear. All my machines work perfectly – until those two men destroy them somehow. But not this time."

He gestured to Dr. Arcularis. "You know Dr. Arcularis too. He told me how he hypnotized Mr. Gordon successfully, and failed with you, Mr. West. But next time – I mean soon, he will succeed with the two of you. He has built an instant-hypnotizing machine, or almost. It will need to be perfected too, but I will offer Dr. Arcularis my expertise. Governor Forsythe, Dr. Arcularis' guinea pig, was successfully hypnotized and I will send him back home after your _mission_. There will be a very important meeting next Monday, with the local politicians and members of the State Department. He'll kill them all."

Dr. Arcularis smirked. "You won't resist me this time, Mr. West," he said.

Loveless turned then to his left, looking at Dr. McAllister. "But you don't know Dr. McAllister. He's a renowned scientist working on both the animal comportment and the human comportment. He has found a drug capable de-evolving a modern man to his primitive self. He's particularly interested by Neanderthals. As you can see, his drug works. But as I didn't want to deal with an unstable and very dangerous brute at my side, I asked Dr. Arcularis to hypnotize our new caveman friend. He's well-behaved now and makes a formidable guard. With an army of those creatures, no one will be able to stop me."

She-Artemus nodded. "Let me guess, you want to conquer the country with an army of hypnotized-controlled Neanderthals, to become what? A king? An emperor?"

Loveless smiled. "No, I just want to rule the world! I have a plan, a foolproof plan. And the two of you are going to help me."

Jim nodded. "We're going to be hypnotized, I know. Let me guess, your plan is to send us back to Washington to kill the President."

Loveless shook his head. "Not exactly, Mr. Gordon will kill the President. The Secret Services agents won't suspect a beautiful woman like Mademoiselle Gordon to be a killer. As for you, Mr. West, you will kill the important people accompanying the President: the members of his cabinet. The US Government will be decimated. There's a reception scheduled at the White House Saturday. You will attend it, bothof you. You will be accompanied by the lovely Mademoiselle Gordon, Mr. West, hiding a gun in her bag. And you, of course will be armed too, as Grant's bodyguard. I'm looking forward to reading the newspapers after the assassination of President Grant: President Grant dead, killed by an unknown woman who killed herself after that. His Cabinet members dead too, killed by the famous agent of the Secret Services Mr. James West, who killed himself as well."

Jim nodded. "The President has bodyguards. They'll shoot us without a split second of hesitation, to protect Grant, if they have the occasion."

Loveless nodded. "I know that, but I prefer the first version of my plan. And if you are both killed – then I'll be delivered from you. Good riddance."

She-Artie paled. "It won't work. It won't work because all your schemes have failed, Loveless. We defeated you each time."

Miguelito Loveless snapped his fingers. "Escort these men to the green room. Dr. Arcularis, I count on you to hypnotize them. I will join you shortly. I have something to write." He took a sip of wine and added, "This time, my schemes will succeed Mr. Gordon."

Dr. Arcularis nodded. "They will be ready in a short moment Dr. Loveless."

Guns poking their backs, hands up, the two agents left the dining room to enter Dr. Arcularis' lab a couple of minutes later.

WWW

 _Later in the green room_

She-Artie and Jim were strapped to a metallic chair each, screwed to the floor, their head placed against a mini headboard and attached there with a strap too. Then the goons left the lab.

They were facing Dr. Arcularis' hypnotizing machine.

Dr. Arcularis took a roll of white paper and said, "I invented an adhesive paper that will serve me in hypnotizing people, by keeping their eyes open during the process.

Moving close to Jim he tore a piece of adhesive paper and placed it as necessary to keep the other man's eyes wide open. Satisfied, he did the same thing to She-Artemus. "There, you won't be able to close your eyes now.

She-Artie began to struggle to free himself.

Arcularis smiled. "It serves nothing Mr. Gordon, you and your partner are trapped like rats." Then he moved towards his machine which he started to activate, pressing buttons here and there, lowering several levers and one big one, at the end. Immediately a blinding light surged from the center of the machine, coming through a reflector using big lenses.

Dr. Arcularis put dark glasses on his eyes. "With that, I'm protected," he said.

Unable to close their eyes the two agents where blinded instantly and felt an intense pain, their eyes burning, tears welling.

Loveless, dark glasses on his eyes too, entered the room, rubbing his hands with glee. "Everything's ready Dr. Arcularis? He asked, looking at his prisoners.

Dr. Arcularis nodded. "Everything's ready. It should take 30 seconds to have them hypnotized, Dr. Loveless and at my command."

Loveless frowned. "At my command," he rectified. "You will read that message to them." Then he pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of his jacket.

Dr. Arcularis took it and read it. "Alright. Just give me two seconds to activate the rotating light." Then he lowered a final lever. Suddenly the lenses started to rotate at top speed, alternating between red and white. "30 seconds," he added taking out his watch.

Dr. Arcularis deactivated the rotating light 30 seconds later, and then progressively stopped his machine. He then removed his dark glasses and moved towards the two agents. Their eyes were red and puffy, he noticed and their cheeks wet with tears.

Loveless took his dark glasses off and joined the other man, his eyes wide with insane glee. "Perfect! Just perfect! Now read the text."

Dr. Arcularis nodded and read, "Listen to my voice, focus on it, only my voice exists. You will do exactly what I will command you to do." He made a brief pause, hearing a small whimper of pain coming from She-Artie and then he continued, "You are going to forget everything from the time you came to Yellow Springs. But you will remember this: you didn't find the persons you were searching for but you were captured by Dr. Loveless and brought to his hideout, somewhere, you don't know where, but you managed to escape – after he drugged you, hence your amnesia." He moved in front of She-Artemus and said, "Dr. Loveless transformed you into a woman in order to break your duo with Mr. West, because women are not field agents, it's too dangerous. Once in Washington, when you see President Grant, you will kill him, and then you will kill yourself." He moved towards Jim and ordered, "When you see the President, you will kill all the members of his Cabinet then you will kill yourself." He made another pause and concluded, "Obey my command, _now_." Another pause. 'Now you're going to sleep soundly."

He removed the adhesive paper and the two agents closed their eyes, falling asleep instantly. "It's done, Dr. Loveless." He bent down and began unfastening the straps.

Loveless nodded. "Perfect!"

Tbc.


	4. Act Three

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

WWW

 **ACT THREE**

 _Much later, on the side of a road_

Sprawled on his back in the thick grass Jim West woke first – with a terrible headache. He managed to sit, moaning and saw a prone form at his side.

Everything was blurry and he was dizzy. "Artie?" he whispered, blinking, trying unsuccessfully to bring his partner into focus.

He placed his hand on the other man and gasped in surprise as he felt a firm _breast_ in lieu and place of Artie's broad, flat chest.

He jerked and immediately retracted his hand. "What?"

He leaned toward the woman lying at his side, his vision becoming progressively clearer. He stared at the brunette woman, wondering who she was – and why she was only dressed in short black underwear and a white shirt too big for her. He took her pulse. Her breathing was steady – and she was unconscious.

He looked around him: no Artemus in sight. He looked again at the mysterious woman, half-naked and frowned, intrigued. "Who are you?"

She-Artie moaned and slowly opened his eyes – immediately grimacing in pain under the assault of a massive migraine. "Oh boy! Ow! That hurts!" He turned his head to the left and saw Jim sitting there, on the ground, looking down at him with intense curiosity. "Hiya, Jim," he said. He blinked twice as he was momentarily startled to hear his new voice. "That's strange…"

Frowning puzzled, Jim asked, "You know me? Who are you?"

She-Artemus rapidly touched his breasts and groaned his face sullen. "Hmpf… I'm still a woman." Then looking at his partner he said, "You're not going to believe it, but it's me, Artie. Dr. Loveless captured us and using a machine, a gender-change machine, he transformed me into a woman…" He frowned too. "I don't remember much else… except that he drugged us that explain our amnesia. It would seem that you and I have escaped from his hideout – but I don't remember where it is located either."

Utterly stunned, Jim opened his eyes wide. "Artie? Is that really you?... But, but… you have changed a little bit, partner," he stuttered. "You have more… er…curves - everywhere."

She-Artie moved himself into a sitting position, his face pale and drawn. "Of course I have. I have a woman's body now," he said, flatly.

Jim was very surprised again. "You're taking it pretty well… if I was in your place I would be very uncomfortable, shocked, shaken… and scared."

She-Artie nodded. "Perhaps for a few seconds, yes, that's all. You're James West, master of his emotions. But I'm not." He touched his new face, exploring it, and then he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to discipline his messy curls. "How do I look? I must look awful."

His stupefaction gone in a flash, Jim smiled and said, "No, not at all. Imagine that you have a twin sister – then it's you. Same dark curled hair, with more curls and the same chocolate eyes, but your face is _feminine_ , the bones are more delicate, the lines a little rounder, your lips are fuller…" He rubbed the back of his neck in an awkward gesture and continued, "And you have er… nice er… and larger hips… Don't take this the wrong way, but you are really gorgeous as a woman, Artie."

She-Artie beamed and blushed with pleasure, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. "You think? Really? Thank you."

Jim frowned, suspecting that his best friend's brain was affected too by the gender-change.

She-Artie rubbed his aching forehead. "We have to find Loveless; I can't stay like this… He must give me my body back."

Nodding Jim stood and offered his hand to his partner. "That won't be easy. I don't remember where his hideout is, buddy."

She-Artie sighed. "I don't remember it either."

Jim nodded. "For now, the best we can do is to go back to the Wanderer and send a telegram to Colonel Richmond to tell him what happened… the little that we both recall." He offered his jacket to his partner and offered him a smile, to help him relax. "Look, it fits you now, Artie." Artie was a few inches shorter now and his shoulders were narrower. You're smaller, about my height, and you're slender. You can borrow my clothes now. You always loved them." He chuckled.

She-Artie grimaced. "Not funny." He did a quick survey of his new body. "That's very, very disturbing you now…I'm a man inside a woman's body." He had a sudden burst of anguish and panicked. He felt tears welling and added, "I'm not feeling good… I can't breathe…" He started panting and let out, "I'm… I'm… Jim… Dear God! I'm a woman! I have breasts, and I have a… Oh! I don't have my… anymore. It's gone! What am I going to do now?"

Seeing that Artie was in total distress mode, and that he was going to lose control of himself, he immediately pulled his partner in his arms, cringing awkwardly, as he felt his breasts free of any restraints (corset) meet his chest. "It's okay, it's okay, calm down buddy. Everything's going to be okay. You're not a woman Artie – er… in fact, yes you are, physically, but not mentally. You are yourself in your head – even if your brain is affected by the gender-change too, I think." Embarrassed he cleared his throat and added, "All these new…er… female attributes will vanish once you have your body back. It's a temporary transformation. We will find Loveless, I promise. He'll transform you back into a man. And all this will be just a bad memory."

She-Artie blinked twice, tears rolling down his cheeks. "And if we don't find him?"

Jim smiled reassuringly. "Then he'll find us. He always wants to kill us, remember?" He grabbed his partner by his shoulders and said, "But in the meantime, you have to accept this body, Artie, because you're stuck inside. You don't have any other choice, so deal with it, I know that you can. I know that you can adapt yourself to anything. And you're still you, pal," he added firmly. "Whatever you look like, you're you – Artemus Gordon, my partner, my best friend, my brother."

She-Artie started to sob against Jim's neck. "I don't want to be separated from you, Jim. That's why Loveless did that to me. Women can't be field agents, it's too dangerous. He wants to break our duo, thinking that it would be more difficult for you to find him and thwart his schemes without me. And he knows too, that you won't work with another partner."

Jim smiled reassuringly. "He won't separate us. If you're stuck behind a desk, I'll stay at your side, sitting at the next desk."

She-Artie cried softly. "Thank you," he said, now beaming, flinging his arms round Jim's neck and burying his face in his partner's shoulder.

WWW

 _Later in the Wanderer_

Standing in front of the psyche he had transported from his sleeping compartment to the bathroom She-Artemus stared at the reflection staring back at him, looking utterly uncomfortable.

He traced his jawline with his fingertip, and then the side of his neck. Jim was right, if he had a sister she probably would have looked like his reflection in the full-length mirror, he thought. He still had dark curled hair, thicker and with more curls though. He had the same brown eyes but long eyelashes. His face was rounder, if possible, and softer with higher cheekbones. His nose was smaller and he had fuller lips. His neck was long, delicate – and of course it was Adam's apple-less.

He smiled, pleased by his new appearance. He was a lovely brunette!

His smile vanished as he started to remove his underwear – his eyes closed; as he wasn't ready yet to see his lower half, and shoved it down, kicking it away.

Then looking right in front of him, he began to unbutton his shirt.

His arms were thinner now, he noticed.

He stopped, hesitating for a few seconds. He had delayed this since he had been turned into a woman, but it couldn't last.

They wouldn't find Loveless before quite some time, so he might as well face what he had: a female body, he reflected. "Courage Artie, you're not a coward. You can do it, you can handle this!" he breathed, swallowing audibly. "You did a lot harder things in your life, like fighting the Confederates on battlefields, infiltrating enemy lines, fighting Indians, fighting outlaws… This is going to be easy, like a walk in the park." He said, unfastening his shirt again, slowly, very slowly. "Oh boy! That's really, really, really weird."

But looking at his new female body meant accepting that it was his – temporarily, he thought. He had to do that to move on.

But seeing himself in a woman's naked body was a shock to him – not because he hadn't see women's naked bodies before, but this one was _his_ , albeit temporarily.

He flushed scarlet.

He was a little shorter now, but only by a few inches, and had a slender curvaceous female body, he noticed, swallowing hard at the sight of his breasts, not too big, but not too small.

His white skin was still marked here and there with round bullet scars and with long and short lines, souvenirs of stabbings. But those traces were hardly visible now, as his skin was whiter than before. He had a lot of beauty spots dotting his skin too.

He turned around and observed his back: the crisscrossed scars and the black Comanche tattoo were still in place – but his back was narrower.

He pivoted and looked downward – camouflaging his new groin with his (trembling) petite hands. He had a round little belly and had rounder hips now. The hair of his less muscular legs was soft and pale, hardly visible and his feet were smaller.

He had a sudden thought, 'My cat and my horse won't recognize me... or they will, recognizing your scent. Did my scent changed too?'

She-Artemus glanced at his hands hiding the new groin. This is way too much! He thought. "I can't…" He looked up at his female reflection and gasped in surprise watching his breasts again. "Oh god!" He slapped his face and grimaced. ""Do it! _Do it_ ", he said to himself immediately after. "After all, that body will be yours until the time you have the male one back. You have to accept it."

He lowered his gaze between his legs – only for a few seconds, catching glimpses of his dark haired V shaped groin there. "Oh my!" and he almost fell forward. "Damnit!" he said regaining his balance. He frowned in scientific curiosity. "Your center of balance is off," he noticed, fascinated. "That's because you are in a woman's body, so female center of gravity is different, hmm... You'll have to adapt to it."

He suddenly jumped letting out a strangled gasp when he heard Jim knock at the door. Covering his breasts with his arms in an instinctive gesture of decency he said, "What? What do you want? Don't come in here!' Do that and I'll have to kill you! Stay where you are! Then he hurriedly stepped inside the tub filled with warm water covered with soap foam, spilling water on the floor. He could imagine Jim smiling behind the door and groaned. That wasn't funny, he mused. "I'm okay. I'm okay. What do you want?"

On the other side of the door, Jim said, "I sent a telegram to Richmond, I told everything we know to the Colonel and he wants us to go back to Washington – for an evaluation of the situation." He lowered his head sadly. "I'm sorry, buddy, it doesn't sound good."

She-Artie gritted his teeth angrily and tightened a fist. "I'm going to be stuck behind a desk in Washington. Damn it! That's exactly what Loveless wanted!"

On the other side of the door, Jim nodded. "If Richmond puts you behind a desk, I'll talk to the President. He knows that we can't be separated, that we can't function without each other. I'm sure that he'll accept that you stay at my side."

She-Artie sighed. "I hope you're right."

Jim added. "But if he refuses, my proposition to be your desk mate still stands."

Female-Artemus shook his head. "I really appreciate your offer, Jim, but I won't accept that. You would die little by little stuck behind a desk. You're a man of action. You need action. There's no action behind a desk. You'll be so very unhappy writing and reading reports all day long." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, surprised to find the skin here smooth and stubble-free. "I'll talk to Richmond… I'll try to convince him to let me to stay at your side, we'll see what happens."

On the other side of the door Jim nodded and asked, "Do you want to wear male clothes or female clothes? You have everything a woman needs in your trucks, you know? Petticoats, shirts, dress… But I can lend you some of my clothes too, I don't mind."

She-Artie looked at her delicate hands, thoughtfully. "I'm still me, although…in a different form, and I have accepted my new body. But I'm not going to dress like a woman. I'm not actually a woman; I'm still Artemus Gordon – gender: male.

On the other side of the door Jim nodded. "Okay, but you're going to do some serious needlework on them buddy, they'll be too big for you. There's another solution, you can borrow mine."

She-Artie sighed. Then, once a man again, he'll have to create new ones, or buy ones. It would be a waste of time and money, he thought. "Okay, I'm going to borrow some of your clothes."

On the other side of the door Jim finally registered what Artemus had said a few seconds before, "You have accepted your new body?"

She-Artemus nodded, looking with interest at his smaller feet dangling at the opposite end of the tub. "Yes, I accepted it, and I'm going to get used to it - eventually. But it wasn't easy, believe me. But I had to move on. I can't let you down because I now have a female body. I'm still a special agent and I'm still your partner. I can still ride a horse and use a gun. And… the scientist in me was very interested by that gender-swap. This is something unprecedented. No man before me inhabited a woman's body – while being still a man in his head. It's a fascinating experience Jim, I'm going to be the only man on Earth to be able to live that!... After that, I could tell really that I know how a woman feels and reacts… Plus, it's a perfect occasion to get in touch with my feminine side… I read recent scientific articles about that. It's a fascinating theory. Do you know that each man has a feminine side? I thought I might like to write something up about that experience, once it's done." He heard Jim chuckle and then he heard his stomach grumble. "I'm hungry! Could you prepare something for dinner? With cakes, I love cakes. Because I'm going to stay here for a while… continuing to _acclimatize_ to my new female body."

On the other side of the door Jim lifted his eyebrows in surprise and said, "Dinner, you sure? Because you usually don't like my _cuisine_."

She-Artie nodded and took the soap and the washcloth. "I'm sure. I'm busy. Now leave!" Then he started to soap his new legs, long and slim. "Hmm! I need to shave them." He ran his hand over his smooth face. "But at least I won't need to shave here…"

Heading towards the galley, Jim said to himself, "It's going to be quite an adventure!"

She-Artemus used a pitcher to wet his hair, and then he ran his fingers through it. "Hmm, I kind of think I should grow my hair…"

WWW

 _Two hours later,_

 _In the parlor car_

Dressed in one of Jim's blue suit, with a white shirt and a golden waistcoat, She-Artie entered the parlor car feeling uneasy.

Marmalade was rubbing against his left leg, purring.

Jim smiled broadly. "I have to say that you look good in my clothes, Artie. And I'm glad to see that your cat still loves you."

She-Artemus sighed. "I'm a man, I should like men's clothes, be comfortable in them, but no. It feels… bizarre, inappropriate. They're not clothes for a woman." He fidgeted a little moving his hips at the discomfort of wearing pants. "My poor brain is scrambled. It's feminizing. I'm going to give you another example: you know me; I usually take prompt decisions and stick to it. In our kind of profession, indecision can be fatal." He cringed and added, "I spent one hour in your sleeping compartment trying on a good part of your clothes, trying on different color combinations, and I was never satisfied with any of my choices. I couldn't stop changing my mind, wondering about the colors that suit me the most, and I finally chose those clothes..." He frowned and let out a sigh of dissatisfaction. "Maybe I should have chosen the silver and blue waistcoat instead of the golden one. I'm not sure. What do you think?"

Pouring a glass of brandy Jim nodded. "I think you're right. Loveless"s machine has affected both your body and your brain Artie. You're experimenting _indecision_ – a typically feminine characteristic. That's a good start to know how a woman feels and reacts, _Artemis_." He grinned, handed She-Artemus his drink, noticing his partner scowling at him. "Come on! It was a joke, buddy."

Glancing at his glass, female-Artie frowned. "Women have a lower tolerance for liquor." He took a sip and grimaced in disgust. "Gaaah!"

Jim lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Bad?"

She-Artemus nodded. "I think my tastes have changed too. That's a very good whiskey, but it seems that I now dislike it." he blanched suddenly. "Oh God!" he breathed.

Frowning in concern Jim reached out, gripping his partner's shoulder in his hand. "What is it? Are you okay buddy?"

She-Artie blushed. "I need to pee."

WWW

 _Later,_

 _In Artie's lab_

Holding a cup of fresh coffee Jim knocked at the opened door and entered Artie's den. He found his partner sitting behind the big working table, on a stool, pieces of fabric spread in front of him, busy sewing something. Marmalade was sitting next to her basket, at the end of the long table, goddess-Bastet-like, observing with curiosity what her master was doing.

Jim smiled. "I thought you didn't want to dress in women's clothes, Artie."

She-Artemus looked up at the younger man. "I won't, but I need something to support the weight of my breasts and to stabilize it - it's moving in time with me and it's disturbing. So I'm creating a brassiere, it's a form-fitting undergarment." He lifted the 'bra' and showed it to Jim. "It's not something complicated to create: the main parts are a chest band that wraps around the torso, two cups – and it wasn't easy to find my exact size – and shoulder straps. I chose to close the strap band on the front, with a small button, because it's more convenient. For better comfort and rigidity I'm going to add a thin semi-circular wire fitted inside the brassiere fabric that is going to lay flat against the chest, encircling the bottom and sides of each breast."

Smiling Jim handed the cup of coffee to She-Artie. "It's for you."

She-Artemus smiled. "Thank you," he said and took a sip. Then he grimaced. It tasted awful. "I'll make coffee next time."

Jim chuckled. "You used to create bombs and now you're creating a woman's undergarment… that's a notable change, Artie."

She-Artie nodded, smiling. "I know, but if you had breasts like me, you'd create a brassiere before bombs, believe me. It should take me an hour or so to finalize it."

Jim nodded. "Do you need some help?"

She-Artie lifted two pieces of fabric. "Yes, please. What do you prefer Jim? White cotton broadcloth or black satin? Lace or no lace?"

WWW

 _A week later, Washington D.C._

 _Col. Richmond's office_

Colonel James Richmond couldn't help but to be amazed when he saw the female-Artemus Gordon move toward his desk and stop there, standing at attention.

He had received a telegram from Jim West telling him that Artemus Gordon now had a woman's body, but he hadn't specified that he was a beautiful woman.

Richmond stood and gestured towards the chair placed in front of his desk. "At ease, and sit down, please. How are you feeling Artemus?"

She-Artie sat on the chair and licked his lips nervously. "I'm fine Sir. I'm now accustomed to my new body, I have adjusted… I'm comfortable with this body now, but I'd like to have the other one back."

Richmond nodded hiding a smile at She-Artie's new voice, higher pitched than normal. He sat back on his chair and said, "Yes, of course. I sent several agents toYellow Springs and in the area, but they didn't find Loveless – for now. They're still searching for him."

She-Artie nodded. "Yes Sir. Loveless changed my gender to break my duo with Jim, Sir, to break our team. To separate us. He thinks that it will be very difficult for Jim to find him and to capture him without my help. Give me a post behind a desk, and that evil megalomaniac will have what he wanted. I have to stay with my partner, Colonel. I'm still _me_ , Sir," he said firmly. "Whatever I look like, I am me, Colonel." She batted involuntarily her long lashes. "Please."

Colonel Richmond sighed. "No woman of the Secret Services is allowed to be a field agent, Artemus. It's too dangerous. I know, you're still you – a man - in your head, but… but you have a woman's body now – with all that this implies: you have less strength and endurance than a man, for example…" He shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Artemus, but I'm going to give you a desk-job – until the time we find Loveless and his machine. I don't have any other choice."

She-Artie nodded. "I'd like to talk to the President, Sir. Maybe…"

Richmond shook his head. "It's useless, Artemus. President Grant proposed for me to take you onto his team, at the White House and I have accepted." Seeing that the She-Artie looked desolate, he added, "It's a temporary assignment, only, Artemus. I insisted on that."

She-Artie nodded, resigned, her chocolate eyes watery. "Yes, Sir."

James Richmond said, "You will take up your new post tomorrow morning. But tonight, there's a reception at the White House. You are of course invited with your partner. You will be here to protect the President. He has insisted on having the two of you at his side. As you know, you are his two favorite agents. And he looks forward meeting you, Artemus."

She-Artemus nodded, regaining composure. "Yes, Sir." He stood up. "Permission to leave Sir? I need to go to my tailor's office. I need a dress for the reception."

Richmond nodded. "See you tonight at the reception, Artemus."

Resigned to his fate, She-Artie sighed and said, "You might as well go with _Artemis_ , Colonel, as it looks like I'm going to be an unlikely Artemus for a while."

WWW

 _Much later, at the White House_

Holding a handbag (with a small gun inside), She-Artemus entered the vast and crowded ballroom of the White House, feeling very nervous.

He turned toward her cavalier, James West and said, "How do I look? Perhaps I should have chosen a green dress instead of a blue one. But I had that neckless with faux-sapphires I have wanted to wear for ages… and didn't have the occasion to on missions. What about my hair? I accentuated the curls to look more feminine… What about my earrings? What about my makeup?" It wasn't easy to find the right lipstick color. I chose a pale pink, but I'm not sure of my choice…"

Patting his partner's arm soothingly Jim smiled. "Relax Artie, you're perfect. Look! All the women here are looking at you with envy – because you're just beautiful."

She-Artie couldn't help but flush crimson with pleasure. He caught a few glances here and there on his way through the room. "Men are looking at me too; I can see curiosity in their eyes. They're probably wondering who I am."

Frowning Jim caught looks reflecting another thing: desire. Instinctively he pulled She-Artie closer to him, in a gesture of chivalry and he chuckled. "If they knew…" He pointed at a short, round-shouldered and bearded man dressed in black, standing next to a podium, in a discussion with Colonel Richmond and Dr. Henderson the CMO of the Washington Military Hospital, in his dress uniform. "Let's say hello to the President," he said glancing at the two 'presidential' bodyguards who were standing close.

Richmond spotted the two agents and gestured toward them. "Gordon! West! Over here. The President is impatient to see you."

The President pivoted, grinning, smoking cigar in his left hand.

But Ulysses S. Grant's grin instantly vanished from his lips when he saw She-Artemus Gordon and James West pull out a gun, She-Artie from his bag, and Jim from his back and point them in his direction, their eyes empty, life-less.

BANG!

Tbc.


	5. Act Four

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

WWW

 **ACT FOUR**

BANG!

She-Artie's vision whited out as pain exploded across his chest at the impact, stumbling backwards. He screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll, with a shocked look on his face, a bullet in his ribs, blood soaking his beautiful blue silk and satin dress.

BANG!

Hit by a bullet too James West let out a cry. His legs gave out as he collapsed to the floor, heavily, next to his partner, a bullet lodged in his stomach.

For a long moment, there was utter silence.

Everyone in the ballroom was frozen in a stupor – except the two bodyguards who moved toward the fallen agents, their smoldering gun in hands. They quickly picked up the two agents' guns and retreated toward the President, framing him – scanning the crowd, ready to shoot anyone else.

Dr. Henderson was the first to react. He sank to his knees beside She-Artie. The agent was pressing his hand under his breasts, blood leaking through his fingers and over his hand. He was gasping for breath, blood coming through his lips too, trickling down his chin.

Henderson paled. "Dear God! Artemus!" he said, horrified.

She-Artie emitted a choked, gurgling sound and gritted his teeth under the assaults of unrelenting waves of intense pain. He suddenly grabbed the physician's arm and said. "It hurts. Pain… intense pain… it broke the programming… I… I remember everything now."

Henderson removed his jacket, balled it up and lifted She-Artemus's hand, trembling. "I need to press my jacket against the wound, » he explained. He reached out, touching the other man gently. "I'm sorry, it's going to hurt – more." He pressed the balled-up jacket against the wound. Immediately She-Artemus coughed harshly, blood spraying from his lips – spraying the physician's face. He let out a strangled cry of pain and more blood seeped between his lips.

Dr. Henderson looked up at an agent. "Call an ambulance!" he ordered.

She-Artemus continued, "I was… hyp-hypnotized, programmed to… to kill the President… Jim hyp-hyp… too. Loveless… the others… they're… hideout…located under the Grand Hotel… Yellow Springs… machine… there's a gender-swap machine… there." More blood filled his mouth and he groaned in pain. He turned his head to the right and watched Jim lying beside him, writhing on the floor with pain, his hands pressed to his bloodied stomach. He gasped, horrified and coughed. There was a lot of blood. "Jim! No! Jim!" he let out, panicked, his voice slurred, and gurgled.

Richmond copied Henderson and gently rolled Jim on his back and then pressed his balled up jacket against the wound in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding.

Soon black creeped on the edge of She-Artemus's vision. He felt cold and exhausted. "Jim… s-sorry… see you on the other side…" he whispered. Breaths come in shallow difficult gasps began slowing. His vision tunneled and everything faded away.

Colonel Richmond had to stop Jim, pressing hard on his shoulder as the other man was crawling toward his limp and inert partner. "Don't move! Stay still! or you will bleed to death!" He said. He glanced at Henderson taking She-Artemus's pulse. "He's going to be okay. He's invincible, you know that. He has survived worse injuries. He's going to be okay."

Reaching out a bloodied hand, Jim managed to reach She-Artie's and wrapped his fingers around his. He struggled to open his eyes to look at his partner. "Don't die… I can't do all this without out… Artie, please… I don't want you to die…"

Richmond asked, "How is he?"

The doctor looked at the head of the Secret Services and said, "It's bad! He's losing too much blood. A lung is punctured. He probably has an internal bleeding too. I need to have him transported to the hospital – and Jim too, as soon as possible. They both need surgery."

Colonel Richmond immediately gave orders to the agents on duty. People moved backward to settle along the walls.

Ulysses S. Grant knelt between his two agents lying on the floor, watching the pool of blood that was accumulating on the floor beneath them. "Hold on! Hold on!" he said. Pulling out his handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket, he used it to gently wiped the blood off She-Artemus's lips and chin. "Hang on Artemus, hang on son!"

She-Artie's eyes fluttered as he regained consciousness. "I'm…" bloodied lips parted, "I'm s-s-sorry… I can't…fi-fight… this is it…" His breathing was labored. "I'm so tired…I'm dying…" He was fighting to get the air back into his lungs. His eyes lost focus.

Blood was filled his lungs. He was going to die drowned in his own blood, not a pleasant way to die, he distantly thought.

Far too weak to squeeze Jim's fingers, She-Artie brushed them.

He closed his eyes, crying. "I'm s'orry, 'm s'ry, he slurred. He started trembling all over, and he couldn't catch his breath. "D'ying.'

Grant pressed She-Artie's hand in his. "Don't say that! You're not going to die. You can't give up. You can't. I'll never forgive you." He glanced at Richmond still applying pressure on Jim's wound. "Send people to arrest Loveless and his accomplices! I want them behind bars as soon as possible!"

The Colonel nodded. "Yes, Sir." Then he gave orders to his men.

Grant looked down at Jim. The other man was staring at his best friend, his eyes wide with pain and fear. "Don't die, don't leave me Artie" Jim whispered.

Female-Artemus murmured, "Car… ry on for me… 'kay?" He emitted a choked, gurgling sound and coughed blood. "'Bye Jim…"

Shaking his head, Jim breathed, "No, don't leave me…" His eyes were going glassy and having trouble staying open. "Don't…"

But She-Artie didn't reply. He was unconscious again, his face twisted in a pained expression.

Henderson checked She-Artie's pulse at the throat –- barely there at all. "He's still alive," he said. "I need help to carry him to the ambulance."

Two cavalry officers stepped forward.

WWW

 _Much later, in the Washington Military Hospital_

President Grant was pacing the waiting room like a caged lion for a little less than two hours when the door leading to the operating rooms finally opened.

Dr. Henderson moved toward Grant, looking pale and drawn. "The surgery went very well, for both of them, Sir. James is out of danger," he said. He lost a lot of blood, but he's stable. Fortunately the bullet avoided all major organs. It was an incredibly narrow miss. He was shot almost at point-blank. He was very lucky. As for Artemus he is still in critical condition. I removed the bullet and repaired the damage. He lost an awfully large amount of blood, outside and inside. We replenished it with a series of transfusions, but he's still very weak."

Grant stiffened at the other man's words and his face lost all color. "Is he going to die?"

Running a tired hand through his hair, the surgeon shook his head. "I honestly don't know, Sir. If he was still a man, I mean if he still had his former body, I'd say yes, because the male Artemus is strong, but he has another body now, a woman's body, and it's more fragile… But he's clinging on to life. If he survives the night, he'll have a good chance of living, Mr. President."

Ulysses S. Grant nodded. "Can I see them?"

Henderson nodded. "Artemus is still in the operation room – in case I have to intervene again anytime. It's not excluded, unfortunately. But you can see him, Sir. Jim has been transferred to a private room."

Stephen Henderson lead the President to the operating room 2 and stayed next to the swinging door as Grant moved toward the rolling table on which She-Artie was laid down. His prone form was covered with a white sheet up to his waist. He was wearing a hospital gown and Grant could see the slightest stains of pink against the otherwise immaculate material.

She-Artemus face was slack and pale and still, very still, so utterly still. His lips were colorless and his palms were curled inwards.

President Grant blanched and shivered. She-Artie looked like a corpse already. "Dear God, Artemus…" He reached over a trembling hand and brushed against the woman's cheek feeling warmth there. He felt the tears welling in his eyes, his throat closing as it clogged with emotion. "Don't die, son. You have to hang on." He lowered his eyes and took She-Artie's limp right hand in his. It was slender, delicate, with long artist's fingers, he noticed. "You can't die. I won't allow it."

Henderson joined the President. "It's the first time I operated on a woman," he said.

Grant observed his agent's feminine face, the man he loved like a son – who now inhabited a woman's body. He nodded. "She's lovely."

Henderson nodded. "If Artemus had a sister, she'd look like that."

Grant placed She-Artie's hand back in place. "Probably. But I'm sure that Artemus wants his body back. Let's hope that Richmond captures Loveless. He's the only one able to _re-male_ Artemus." He glanced at She-Artie a last time then he headed towards the door, Henderson in tow.

President Grant entered Jim West's private room a couple of minutes later. The other agent was lying on his back, with thick white bandages wrapped tightly around his chest. He was pale and had smudged shadows beneath his closed eyes.

Grant moved to Jim's bedside and placed a hand on the other man's immobile arm. "You're going to be fine, Jim," he said.

Suddenly Jim's eyelashes fluttered opened. "Ar… tie," he whispered, his voice hoarse, of his fingers twitching against the fabric of the sheets.

Grant pressed Jim's arm. "Artemus going to be alright, Jim," he said, before pouring water in a glass and exchanging a long look with Henderson. He lifted the agent's head, slowly, gently and brought the glass to his pale lips. He smiled as the younger man took short shallow sips. "And you're going to be alright too. But you need rest."

Blinking, Jim looked around him, puzzled. Artie wasn't there. "Where's… Artemus?" He frowned suddenly alarmed. He inhaled a shaky breath. "Is he dead?"

Dr. Henderson took a step forward, shaking his head. "No, he's alive. I placed him in another room. He's a woman now and needs a private room, you understand why."

Jim nodded weakly. "Yes." He looked up at Grant. "I'm sorry Sir. I was hypnotized, as Artie was too, and programmed to kill you, like . But your bodyguards shot us before we did the irreparable."

Grant nodded. "I know. Colonel Richmond sent people to arrest Loveless and his accomplices in his hideout. I hope to have some good news soon."

Closing his eyes, too tired to keep them open any longer, Jim said, "Tell them to mind the machines… Artie needs his body back." Then, he fell back asleep.

WWW

 _The next morning_

It was the end of the morning when Jim opened his eyes.

He blinked twice trying to recognize the person standing at his side through blurred vision, but it was impossible. "Hi!" he breathed.

Dr. Stephen Henderson smiled at his patient. "Hi, yourself. Good morning Jim," he said. "How are you feeling this morning?"

Moistening his lips, Jim said, "Like I've been shot in the stomach, doctor," as the surgeon's face finally came into focus above him. "Artie?"

Henderson moved to the side, revealing another bed mounted on wheels. She-Artie was lying on it, beneath a pair of hospital blankets, pulled halfway up his lap, sleeping soundly. She-Artemus was wearing a hospital gown, a new one, blood-stain free. "I thought you would like to see him. He's out of danger. He's going to be all right, but it will take some time. He'll be back on active duty in a couple of months at most, and you in a month, not before. The bullet punctured his lung and narrowly missed his heart. He almost bled to death on his way to the hospital." He rolled the bed closer – the two beds meeting, and Jim immediately reached out. He placed his hand on his partner's. "He's heavily sedated and won't wake up before this afternoon. I'm going to leave him here with you until I need to change his bandages and examine him. Try not to move, Jim. If you need anything, call a nurse. There's one posted in the corridor."

Smiling Jim nodded, "Thank you, Sir." He took She-Artie's hand in his and pressed it. "We're both going to beokay, buddy."

Henderson left the room.

Shortly after Jim fell asleep, still holding his partner's hand, reassured.

WWW

 _Much later_

President Grant accompanied by Colonel Richmond entered Jim's private room at the beginning of the afternoon and were surprised and relieved too, to see a second bed inside – She-Artemus pale and sleeping underneath brown blankets.

Smiling, they moved to the ends of the coupled beds and stood there. Jim opened his eyes and looked at them.

Grant's smiled broadened. "Then it's true, no one or nothing can separate James West and Artemus Gordon. How are you feeling, Jim?"

His brain a bit drowsy Jim smiled too. "I'm not in the best of shape, Mr. President", he said. His voice was rough with sleep. "But I'm going to be fine… and Artie too." He glanced at his partner and added, "He should wake up soon… He's dozing on and off. Dr. Henderson gave him a strong drug, because he's in a lot of pain. And he's not entirely coherent sometimes."

Grant moved to She-Artie's bedside. "I have very good news. Loveless and his accomplices were arrested early this morning and they are now locked in a cell in Fort Quincy, under heavy guard. Loveless' hideout is now a military place and all the machines are intact. Loveless will be able to give Artemus his body back once he can leave the hospital and be mobile."

Richmond nodded. "He won't escape, this time," he added.

They heard a moan and She-Artie slowly opened his eyes, pupils dilated. Jim immediately took his partner's hand in his feeling it twitch and twist lightly.

He shook hit. "Hey Artie, wake up buddy, wake up! We have important visitors. Colonel Richmond and President Grant."

She-Artie buried his head in his pillow. "'M okay," he breathed a drug-thickened voice. "'Not a girl… Don't want… don't want to be stuck behind a desk," he said. "I'm a soldier…"

Grant patted his agent's arm. "You won't. Loveless has been captured. He'll give you your body back in a few weeks, son."

She-Artie looked up at Grant, his eyes bleary and unfocused, forehead creasing. "My bra's probably ruined," he said. "So beautiful dress… so much blood… You here Mr. President?"

Grant nodded. "Yes I'm here, Artemus, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He glanced at Jim, puzzled. "What's a bra?"

Jim chuckled softly. "Bra is short for Brassiere, Sir. It's a woman's undergarment Artie created to help him to er… to… control his breasts. Sir. It's a very ingenuous piece of clothing."

The President looked very embarrassed and he even blushed a little. "The ingenuity of this man will never cease to amaze me."

Richmond nodded, very serious. "Artemus Gordon is a multi-talented man, Sir. But of course you do know that. I'm sure that he'll be able to create another… bra."

Suddenly She-Artie grabbed Grant's arm. "I'm hit! I'm bleeding, I'm dying… my blue dress is soaked in blood, I'm dying… Don't leave me Jim… Don't leave me, I don't want to die alone, General," he whimpered as tears streamed down his haggard face.

Grant sat on the edge of the bed and ran a soothing hand in She-Artie's hair. "I'm not leaving you, Artemus. I'm here. I'll never leave you."

Frowning Jim sighed. "He remembers war, Sir, pieces of his past – he mixes it with what happened in the White House. The drug makes him confused."

Grant pulled up a spare chair by his injured agent's bedside and sa downt. "Colonel, I'm going to stay here till tonight. Cancel everything scheduled for this afternoon."

Richmond nodded. "Yes, Sir."

She-Artie moaned, breathed, "Jim… love you, brother, but you don't know… how to prepare good coffee." His eyes drifted shut as the drug was finally pulling him under again.

Tbc.


	6. Tag

**THE NIGHT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ASSASSINS**

 **By Andamogirl**

WWW

 **TAG**

 _Six weeks later_

 _Loveless hideout_

Miguelito Quixote Loveless framed by four armed troopers entered his former lab and smiled seeing Jim and She-Artie there – both standing next to his gender-swap machine.

He gave them a small salute. "Ah! I knew that this day would come. We meet again, Mr. West, _Mademoiselle_ Gordon. Ready to become a man again, Mr. Gordon?"

She-Artemus wearing his male clothes, too big for his female body nodded. "More than ready. Let's start your machine!"

Loveless joined the two agents. "In my cell, I read in the newspapers that you tried to kill the President – but his bodyguards shoot you before you did. That's too bad. And you both survived – that's too bad either and incredible. I'm wondering if you are humans…"

Smiling, Jim un-holstered his gun. "We are, and we're very lucky. Once again, your plan – no, all your plans failed, Loveless. You'll never succeed. Never."

Loveless waved a finger. "Never say never, Mr. West." He gestured toward the long box. "As a man of science, I hope you enjoyed that extraordinary experience, Mr. Gordon."

She-Artie smiled. "Oh I really enjoyed it, but not at first, of course. But I got accustomed to my new body, I adjusted alright to it and explored how a woman feels and reacts… and yes, it was an extraordinary and unique experience. But now, it's over. Oh! And don't try anything cunning and tricky, Jim won't hesitate to put a bullet in your head."

On that, Jim West cocked the hammer of his revolver.

Loveless nodded. "I won't, I want to stay alive." Then he pressed on a button and the lid of the box slid forward.

She-Artemus, a little apprehensive, lowered himself in the box and laid down. He had hurt like hell the first time, and he'd feel in a lot of pain again.

Loveless closed the lid on him. Then he busied himself activating the big machine and pressed several buttons on the box, before lowering the levers.

Electricity suddenly surged from the machine, ran in the cables and wires – and ended in the box. Jim couldn't help but jump and shiver when he heard a muffled scream of pain – which lasted for at least 30 seconds before dying away progressively, mutating into sobs. "Artie," he breathed gritting his teeth. He glared at Loveless who was beaming. "That ends now."

Loveless opened the lid and leaned forward. "It worked! He said before taking a step backward. "Mr. Gordon's a male again."

Immediately Jim moved toward the box and looked inside. He smiled broadly and offered his left hand to his male partner. "It's good to have you back, Artie."

Still aching and nauseous, Artie sat up in stages and gingerly stood up using the back side of the box for support. He managed to leave the box and sat heavily on the edge. He first looked down at his hands – bigger, squarish, and calloused and then at his chest – flat again. "Oh, thank god!" he breathed, in relief. Then he promptly vomited at his feet.

Loveless took a new step backward. "Thank me, not God, but I like the idea of being a god." He said, moving closer to the wall.

Before Jim could do anything, the diminutive man lowered a lever and a trap opened beneath his feet. It closed almost instantly after letting escape Loveless's snigger.

Jim West tried to lower the lever too but it was impossible. Loveless had probably blocked it somehow down there. He then tried to open the trap with his bare hands, but it was impossible too. Looking at the troopers he ordered, "I want the place searched! Find him! He's not going to escape!"

The soldiers split.

Suddenly Artemus legs gave way and he collapsed sideways. Jim leaped to cushion his fall. Then he pulled Artie upright and tightened him against him. "Stay with me Artie."

In a daze Artemus slung an arm around his partner's neck, head bowed half-conscious. "I think I need to slee-sleep," he slurred.

He slung Artie over his shoulder effortlessly. "Come on Artie, let's go back to the Wanderer." and he headed toward the exit.

WWW

 _The Wanderer, later_

Slowly opening his eyes, Artemus moaned in pain against his pillow, his whole body hurting – even his hair. He buried his face in his hand. "Who hit me with a horse?" He heard a chuckle, opened his eyes, and saw Jim leaning against the doorjamb of his sleeping compartment. "What happened? – I mean what happened after I got my body back. I have blank spots in my memory."

Making a face Jim said, "Loveless escaped, the soldiers searched for him for hours, but they didn't find him. I brought you here and you passed out." He moved inside and sat on the edge of the bed. "Colonel Richmond and the President weren't happy to know that Loveless did one of his disappearing acts again, but they're both very happy you're you, again – I mean, a male Artie."

The said male touched his chest, finding it flat and broad and his hand wandered lower until it touched a well-defined male crotch.

Closing his eyes Artemus let out a long sigh of relief and re-opened them. "Oh boy! It's good to have my body back… I feel myself again. Loveless re-maled me. What about the machines?"

"They're going to be dismantled, put in boxes and send to Washington to be stocked there in a federal warehouse. The President is interested by any new technology. He'll probably ask scientists to study them." Jim said.

Artie nodded. "What are the orders?"

Patting Artie's arm Jim said, "We're on vacation for a week buddy." He stood and added, "As you were sleeping, I had no other choice but to prepare dinner. It's ready."

Pulling himself into a sitting position Artie grimaced. "I have just left the hospital four days ago… I don't want to go back there with severe stomach pains."

Frowning Jim looked falsely affronted. "I resent that. I did my best." He helped the other man to stand and then pulled him in his arms. "It's good to have you back, buddy."

Smiling Artemus hugged Jim back and then parted. "I didn't go anywhere, Jim. But I know what you mean. Tell me that you didn't make any dessert."

Jim shook his head. "I didn't even think about it. You're the pastry chef here Artie."

The older agent nodded. "Then I have time to prepare something rapid and delicious: what about a plum pie Jim?"

Jim smiled. "Yummy."

The end


End file.
